For the first time in my life,, There’s no bright side!!!!

I just can’t help being so lost

And I am totally transformed

I am back to earth

I’ve involuntarily left my fantasy dream world

To come back to earth and live like all others

Being realistic and logical

I cry n cry

For sorrows in my heart

No one can hear

No one can see me

All alone

And I wish if there was some1 watching

So he could come and hug me tightly

And promise me a better life

Or some1 listening

So he can come and ask me

And I just open up

Everything

Totally everything

I am hiding my pains from reasonably every1

I do have my reasons and excuses

And I can’t help it

I am torn up I am broken down I am shattered into small pieces

And nobody knows

Absolutely nobody!

I seem strong as hard solid

Unbreakable

But I am only unbreakable, cuz there’s nothing really left to break!

So is life with me

I am so tired of hiding it

I am not asking for a change

I am only asking for a chance to talk and get all this out of me

I donnu what I am doing

Or  I donnu where I am going

But I know that

I am being so harsh on me

Trying to be some1 else

Trying to be every1 around

I compare myself to every1 I like

Observe what’s really good in them,, and wonder if I am as good

Thus, I am attempting so hard to change

And become Everyone, Separately

So Everybody else loves me

I am losing myself

I am losing myself

I am losing myself, thinking that I am making “me” a better person

But the only thing I am doing is shattering myself

I am breaking every single sweet thing me

And soon,

I’ll be left with nothing

 I need immediate therapy

Better yet, I need my mom

Cuz I can’t handle it on my own

And I can’t see a bright side in being all on my own with absolutely no1 for me

I took the chance to find that one

But then at once I stopped

It felt wrong

No

No it didn’t feel wrong

But people who don’t know everything about me made it look wrong

And so I quit

what's the point in it , where's the benefit, when i am gaining all but i am losing it