You make a mistake, it is ok we all do

If you come and say you’re sorry, I’ll immediately forgive you

But no you don’t, you blame it on me

I take it easy because I love thee

Every time you do something wrong

I come and talk to you

Open-mindedly willing to listen

Searching for excuses for what you do

However, you don’t give me the chance

You just start the fight

Accusing me of things not worth mentioning

But I act calmly, and call of the night

I stand up for myself to defend

Proving I’m innocent from all the guilt

And so I forget the mistake you did

I come to apologize for what I said might hurt

This is your way of getting away with it

Not caring for how bad I felt

You’re not strong enough to admit your mistakes

I take all the blame, and you think you are smart in that case

But sometimes I wonder, for how long it will last

Me taking all the blame and you forgetting all the past

‘Cause I am truly tired and sick

I never get my rights

I give and give…

Not waiting for return

But some appreciation and gratefulness

Is what I really seek

This time I’ll talk out loud

I’ll speak my mind and clear the cloud

I am not that naïve girl who apologizes for your fault

My patience has limits, and to its end, my patience you brought

I am giving you the chance, to come and ask my forgiveness

You know well you are mistaken, not need for any witness

When that happens, you are welcome again

I’ll give you back my love, but this time with gain

Until that time, don’t take to me

Have sometime by yourself and recall your memory

And if you won’t do that, hence I guess it’s the end

It was a nice time dear, good luck with that head

The choice is yours, take your time

I am not on a hurry. Just quit that crime

For now I will leave you, I am going to miss you though

Don’t forget to write me, and let my world with you glow

 By: Maha H.

 Friday 28th, september 2007

6:50 am

A song that typically describes me 2day

Florent Pagny & Souad Massi

Savoir Aimer

I am so lonely, so lonely

It’s 3:14 am

And I just feel am all by myself

I feel like crying

I have so many people in my life

Friends who are available the moment I need them

But the specific person I need is not present

Am always that way

With the wrong person

I feel so helpless

Am constantly making mistakes

And I know that they are mistakes

And I so wish to stop them

But I just donnu how

What’s the way to stop and do the right thing

I thought getting back to college and being busy would make things ok

But that’s not me

I am not used to ignoring my feelings and just get busy with anything else

I always looked deep inside me before looking forward

Now how could I look forward for better days when I feely dusty inside

 I do feel dusty inside

Have u ever experienced that feeling before?

I can only tell u it’s anything but ok

I need some peace of mind and heart

I have problems that I donnu how to deal with

And friends doesn’t seem to help, but they do listen

I went to get my coffee

I have to start getting dressed at 6:30 so I realized the only way for it is my xx-l mug filled with hot coffee. The one my mum bought for me…I miss her

Across the hall I met my bro; he got up and switched on the tv

Although all he said was “tea plz” I felt alive again

I don’t feel lost or lonely or any of those any more

We don’t communicate much

But his presence makes me feel alright

Whenever he did something annoying I just wished if he would travel somewhere and leave me alone

But now I regret that..

I’ll take him with his little annoying habits am ok with that.

Now what?

What’s inside???

I really really donnu

For the 1^st time of my life I stand helpless donnu what to do

Wether listening to my heart or mind,

Or none but my instinct

I don’t wanna break hearts or confuse minds

I just want some peace

some warmness

I wish if I found that unique irreplacable

Who could give me exactly what I want

And knows what I need even b4 I say it

Some1 who a relationship with wouldn’t feel weird or wrong or awkward

Just warm and so right

Some1 I feel peaceful with, only him and no1 else around

No other irritating factors to the relationship

So hard to find??

I don’t know

But I always considered myself as a “lucky person”

For what I had

Is it the one thing  I lack

U  can’t have everything right?

But who said I do

I am looking for some1

Between the faces

Among the streets

Listening to all

Reading and sharing

Looking for some1

He doesn’t have to be a lover

As a matter of fact it could be “she”

A friend…

A sister…

A mother..

A brother…

A father…

A mate…

Whatever it is

Just that 1 person who knows all about me

My soulmate may be

How I define soulmate??

A soulmate is not just some1 who loves the same music and drinks you love, but some1 who can just dig deep inside you and clean away all the dust.

Mmmm

I want a “complete” person

A complete person for me

Complete from my point of view

Complete and not “perfect”

Where can I find u?

Will I ever find u?

I am ready to look and wait

But I need a promise that you will eventually appear in my life and save me

Cuz right now I feel so lonely and lost

Sometimes I just wish if I could have a magic stick and clear all the mistakes I did

Clear all the bad moments and memories in my history

Cuz damn it they r still hurting me

I still feel weak and naïve when I remember them

Or cruel and cold blooded

 I wanna fly away

To some other world

I wish if I could start over from the beginning

Start new

 I know what people say

No one can go back so start now

But that won’t help

I can say: starting now I will try to be what I always wanted to be, I’ll hurt no one and won’t make mistakes and will forgive people and will be a good person

But the history still irritates me

I still have visions and memories that tear me up

Besides

I can’t start a new life without ending the previous one

What about the people I know

What about the things I am involved in

What about the promises I made and have to fulfill

What about the dreams I started to achieve

See

You can never start new

But you could only move from good to better, or from bad to worse

Am I “good” or “bad”

None of the above !

I am “ordinary”

Cant tell am good

Can’t tell am bad

Just ordinary

It sux

I just feel so numb and lost